Ride Of Life!!

Hello guys, so sorry I've been MIA for a long while but I'm back now...... any way I started a blog series on www.happenings9ja.com called Diary Of A Phat Curvy Girl, this is one of my recent epidodes....Hope you have fun reading.


Ride Of Life

If I were a LASTMA official, I’m sure I’ll have been assassinated or executed by now. What I would do Lagos drivers eh? You have no idea how livid drivers in Lagos make me.

There was a particular week I had series of unfortunate episodes with crazy danfo drivers. I got home every day looking like a train ran me over.

On one of those days when transport system was scarce, I was left with no choice but to enter what my uncle calls “an assembled car parts, stapled together vehicle”. Infact, I’m calling it a necessary mistake. This ride turned out to be my worst nightmare; I might have well been on a scary roller costa ride.

As most danfo buses this one was quite advanced; probably have been driven every day for at least 15 years, it was really like assembled car parts. Just before I got into the bus I had a brief epiphany but I chose to ignore it.

Throughout the journey, the driver and his conductor were just sharing their madness. The first hint of danger was the wild goose chase the driver took us on all in the name of evading traffic, taking us round Lagos like a headless chicken.

We eventually entered “traffic of life”. As if that wasn’t enough, the conductor continued from where his “pilot” left off. He decided to chill with his passengers. His idea of hanging out with us was to share his “anointing” (body odour) in an already heat stifled vehicle. Unfortunately for me I was two seats away; I almost passed out from the stench.

Eventually traffic cleared out and once again Michael Schumacher (driver) continued where his conductor left off as he unsuccessfully skid through all the pot holes he could find making all the passengers ( coco Chanel plus hausa perfume) bump into each other. Soon the bus started bouncing like one of the cars in Snoop Lion’s videos from way back.

At this point my frustration level was 70%. I was tired from work, hot, irritated, and angry; no scratch that, I was livid. As
I sat there seething with anger, the driver did the unimaginable. Apparently he thought we were on set for “fast and furious” and started racing like he’ll receive a formula one race award for his driving.

Suddenly two of the bus tires went on vacation and the bus carried on with speed on the remaining two tyres and two tyre rims; my life flashed before my eyes as my heart threatened to pop out of my chest. How we survived that day is still a question mark I’ve refused to examine.

I swore never to enter public transport after that ordeal, however two weeks of taking taxi has taken a toll on my ‘Swiss account’ and made me eat my words so until my continuous collection of widows mite is worthy of a ‘Coscharis’ vehicle I’ll just have to make do with the Michael Schumachers in Lagos.

Wickedness In High Places

Remember that song we used to sing at break time in primary school;
some have food but cannot eat,
some can eat but have no food,
we have food and we can eat,
glory be to thee oh Lord Amen

These were the lyrics that came to me after I read an article about how a parent starved their adopted son till he weighed half of what a child half he's age should way, people are just evil. there is no excuse to starve a child no excuse what so ever!!

I imagine if this investigation was given to the team in "Criminal Minds"., they'll probably profile the parents and say something happened to them in the past and somehow it surfaced again and their poor child had to suffer the brunt his parent's psychopathic thoughts.

As for me I don't believe in all that Psycho babble bullsh**t, I think its wickedness in high places.

Pakistani Girl killed By Parents For Glancing At A Boy

The first thing that came to my mind after hearing this was, none of us will be still be alive if I parents decided to end our lives for scoping boys. my heart bleeds on behalf of the soul of the 15 year old girl that was killed my her own parents just because she looked/scoped/glanced, honors  indeed!!!!, I don't even know what to say again. Enough of my rants read the rest of the story..................


A Pakistani couple accused of killing their 15-year-old daughter by pouring acid on her carried out the attack because she sullied the family's honor by looking at a boy, the couple said in an interview broadcast Monday by the BBC.
The girl's death underlines the problem of so-called "honor killings" in Pakistan where women are often killed for marrying or having relationships not approved by their families or because they are perceived to have somehow dishonored their family.

The girl's parents, Mohammad Zafar and his wife Zaheen, recounted the Oct. 29 incident from jail. The father said the girl had turned to look at a boy who drove by on a motorcycle, and he told her it was wrong.

"She said 'I didn't do it on purpose. I won't look again.' By then I had already thrown the acid. It was her destiny to die this way," the girl's mother told the British broadcaster.

Television footage of the couple showed them standing behind bars in separate, but adjoining jail cells.

The father said the family had already come under public censure because of their older daughter's behavior, but he did not detail what exactly he meant.

Pakistani officials initially said the attack occurred because the girl supposedly had an affair with a boy.

According to the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, at least 943 women were killed in the name of honor last year. Only 20 of the women were reported to have been given medical care before they died, the report said. The real toll is believed to be higher because many of the crimes go unreported.

"Throughout the year, women were callously killed in the name of honor when they went against family wishes in any way, or even on the basis of suspicion that they did so. Women were sometimes killed in the name of honor over property disputes and inheritance rights," the report said.

Embarrased In All My Glory

I just bought this really nice pair of jeans, cost me a lot *to me it was a lot*, I don't wear it any how oh but yesterday's trip warranted a jean feature. I did and unfortunately for me i don't have car but I will some day, very soon, hopefully but due to my transport status I have to join the other millions of Nigerians who use "danfo" and yes I jump bus and bike (sue me).

I entered this bus and the guy beside me kept nudging me, smiling and winking, he was talking to me in situations like that this, I go into mute mode with my phone listening to music, a device I'm thankful for, helps me ignore pedophiles and psychopaths.

As I got down from the bus in all my awesomeness, I heard a sound like a cloth being ripped, at first I was like *eiyah* to the unfortunate victim until I felt breeze caressing my bare skin at the back immediately and simultaneously my heart started palpitating and my knees began wobble in shock and dismay as I realized it was my jeans.

At that precise moment I wished I would disappear into thin air, unfortunately things didn't work that way I'm still recovering from this  experience *tears*.

Issues that hurt....... marriage of the underaged

this little girl is being prepared for marriage

I will be talking about issues that bother me, i'm not sure about how other people feel oh but no matter the economic situation you find yourself in, is it so bad that you have to give up your 5 year old girl for marriage to man who is advanced in age?, well over he's forties and fifties. It hurts me so much each time I think about it. There are less privileged families that still struggle and hustle to feed their kids.

I was reading an article about child marriage where girls as young as 9, 10, 11 sometimes even as young as 5 being married off to old men, when i say old i really mean old like Mahatma Ghandi old ( i realize that is an exaggeration but i'm close to the truth). From the beginning of the article to the ending I was just crying as if I was the one they were marrying off to like that.

I'm not married let alone be a parent but if i'm not wrong having kids means your responsible for their well being, so how can you look your child and decide she's ripe for marriage at  the age of 11, these young girls end up being victims of domestic violence, is that the kind of life a mother wants for her child? 

The parents of child brides are often poor and use marriage as a way to provide for their daughter’s future, especially in areas where there are few economic opportunities for women. 

ome families use marriage to build and strengthen alliances, to seal property deals, settle disputes or pay off debts. In some cultures, child marriage is encouraged to increase the number of pregnancies and ensure enough children survive into adulthood to work on family land and support elderly relatives. 

In South Asia, some families marry off all their daughters at the same time to reduce the cost of the wedding ceremony. Chastity is another major reason, and many parents want to make sure their daughters do not have a child outside marriage( that is not a guarantee) 

There are many other cultural reasons for child marriage. In India’s southern state of Tamil Nadu, some communities have a strong social stigma against girls being married after puberty. Some cultures believe that menstruation is induced by intercourse ( seriously)

Some also fear that if girls receive an education, they will be less willing to fulfill their traditional roles as wife and mother. The number of child marriages often increases during conflicts or natural disasters, when families seek protection for their daughters or money for themselves. ( bull shit).

I will now go on to tell you the emotional and health implications; likely to die at child birth, have higher chance of actually contacting HIV/aids, most likely to be beaten, threatened, enslaved and sexually exploited by their husbands ( they are young and impressionable what do you expect), the so called reason of poverty justifying the marriage is a situation this girls are likely to remain in and barley any chance at education.

All these also happen in Nigeria in the north, please help stop child marriage its a reality many innocent girls find themselves in this situation they don't understand themselves let alone know how to come out of it.

News Room Madness !!!!

For those who work or have worked in a media house will understand the profile of a news room from the editors' desks to reporters cubicle. The madness usually starts from 5pm when everyone is hustling to turn in his/her stories, the hustle isn't my problem, its the kind of conversations that goes on that baffles me.

Before I go into some details of the real madness in form of obscure remarks and discussions, I'll like to begin with the fact that in a newsroom there are no male or female, we are all *men*, I can't mention names but in one instance in an effort to make the environment lively, the discussion was on being bald, non coherent comments from the supposedly elders left me looking like this

and they were actually having fun I can't even begin to explain the trauma I experienced as I listened in anguish to an open conversation gabby Douglas' the gold medal American gymnast seriously debating about the young girl's appeal, in response I whispered are you more attractive more attractive, emphasis on "whisper" (wouldn't want to loose my job). I usually like the madness especially if I get to say my mind sarcastically of cause *evil grin*, this is just to tell you what I have to endure on a daily basis.

The one that pained me the most is when 15mins was dedicated to "tassying" I couldn't vent my anger, all I did was grin from ear to ear while in my head I've stabbed everyone involved which in turn made my grin wider, and that's how I deal with the news room.

"That crazy black girl"

A recent death of a friend's younger sister brought back memories of my traumatic asthmatic past and what I and my family went through because of my breathing condition. It got to a point where I started thinking and talking about killing myself because I didn't get why me? I almost had a surgery once cause I couldn't breathe through my nose.

it pains me that because a hospital didn't have an oxygen mask, Ogaga died. she didn't survive the journey to the next hospital. My heart contracted in pain and my tears kept flowing because I understand what her family have been through because I'm asthmatic and what they are going through because I also lost my dad a year ago. losing someone is an indescribable experience but Ogaga in her blog "that crazy black girl" couldn't have captured it better.

According to her "*sigh* When peace like a river attendeth my way when sorrows like sea billows roll whatever my....this song means a lot to me quite frankly one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard, its funny the year I heard it, was a horrid year (ironic yeah) it was that year when Stella Obasanjo and all those Loyola students died (God rest their souls) sad year, it was rendered by Chuto a girl in my school that year she had lost someone in the crash, and when she sang it I could tell it was from the depth of her soul. That year I remember I sat there in my seat crying and at the same time trying to be hard... You see death is something we just can't deal with I mean we lose people every day one would think it would get easier, hell we hope it would get easier but I just doesn't you still feel the pang, the silence the pain of where they used to be in your heart now silent lost forever.... You want to say don't go I still need you but there's just not the time you see, one minute they're there and the next they're gone *poof* just like that away from our lives our point of sight we can't pick up the phone and dial and expect them to pick but they don't cause they're gone..."

Ogaga has through her blog and famous tweets influenced a lot of people, we miss you and pray that the good Lord will grant your family the fortitude to bear their loss, fare well dear, "deuces"